My girlfriend is hell bent on getting married but I want to wait for at least three more years before I tie the knot. I love her and we have been in a relationship for two years now. I am committed to her, but I want to reach a certain point in my career before I get married and settle down. I want to enjoy three more years of freedom before I can be a married man. But my girlfriend is being pressured by her family to get married and is in turn pressurising me. This is causing a lot of problems in our relationship and I feel we are drifting apart. I don’t want to break up with her, I want to make this relationship work because I love her and want to be with her, but I just want her to wait for some time till I am earning that much to take care of a family. We both are 27 and work in the same company. Please help.
My sweet boy, which rock have you been living under? It’s 2018 for crying out loud! I am glad that you’re so passionate about your career and have everything planned out in that department of your life, but haven’t you heard about the unpredictability about life itself? Seize the day you fine lad. Carpe Diem! The French didn’t come up with these terms just to make fun of the rest of the world’s pronunciation, they came up with these concepts to teach you how you must live while you’re alive and not just keep postponing plans because you never know what the future holds.
I’m all for staying single and enjoying your personal space, but if you really love this dame, what is holding you back? A marriage today entails equal partnership, be it at parenting or paying the bills. You don’t have to take the whole responsibility of maintaining a family, just as the wife does not have to own the entire responsibility of taking care of your household. You both need to share it, equally.
But it’s a different story if there are other reasons you don’t want to get married. Are you having second thoughts about spending the rest of your life with her? If you take my advice, marry someone who you are comfortable with. When you live together, bring up kids together, you heart will stop ‘skipping a beat’ for her, both of you will age and get wrinkly and smell funny.
I can understand why her family is pressuring her, because when you’re close to your 30s and not married, the society think you’re reaching your expiry date as marriage material. Talk to her and tell her all your concerns without sugar coating anything.
If she’s the one you see yourself growing old with, work something out and meet her halfway. You don’t want to be ‘that guy’ who gets a sympathetic invitation to his friends’ homes because he’s all alone during festivals while everyone else is with their families, do you? Marriage isn’t as difficult as people make it out to be. You just have to treat each other as partners and work things out as you go along. If you dilly-dally too long, you can’t blame the lady for dumping your immature nonsense and moving on to greener pastures.
