This is the part where you find out who you are”.
“Don’t ever stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else”.
“Another generic post about respect, worth etc. in love”.
I reread the posts and still could not relate to them. My friend Manasvi, on the other hand, started complaining about how she wasn’t being treated right in her relationship and deserved better. It was only after I reminded her that she was single that she came back to her senses. Browsing social media these days is like an emotional rollercoaster ride between feeling ok, sad and happy. Every post has the potential to trigger either of the sentiments without warning. One moment you’re looking at a cat video and laughing; next moment you see a post of your ex-lover getting hitched (to someone good looking and well off than you) and sadness creeps in. I call this mix of emotions ‘ The Sadoppy (sad + ok + happy) Experience’.
I started making a mental list of posts that triggered Sadoppy in me:
Now reading: Whenever someone uploads a picture of their current read, sadness happens. That mugshot of a coffee mug (there’s always a coffee mug, always) and cover of the book sends me on a guilt trip. The books that I buy but never read accuse me of cheating on them with Netflix and I stay miserable till I dust, rearrange them.
Airport check-ins: Whenever someone uploads a tilted picture of their boarding pass along with the mandatory airport check-in, a strange sadness takes over. My travel goals laugh at me, bank statement mocks me and I stay miserable until my friends finalise at least two pseudo travel plans for Goa.
Memes: This one is quite tricky. Whenever someone uploads a meme, my first reaction is to laugh. After a while, I feel ok about it and just when I’m about to share it, the truth reveals itself. The meme ‘We all have that one chair where we keep dirty laundry’ is funny until you realise that you’ve two such chairs waiting at home. You know you have to attend to them, but you also know that you’ll go home and dust, rearrange the books.
Sadoppy industry is flourishing and we are the ambassadors. I never feel an emotion alone; I always tag at least three friends so that they could be equally miserable. Snowball effect happens and by the end of the day, it’s a full circle and the huge ice ball of emotions hits us in the face. What a thought! I was about to congratulate myself on the epiphany when Manasvi made me realise that ‘Psychology facts’ page was toying with my head. Damn! I won’t let these social media sites control my emotions, decision making; being an Indian that right lied exclusively with my parents.
I began unsubscribing from the pages that sold emotions like it was Vada Pav. These ones were the first to go:
Humans of Bombay (HoB): Story of people who are happy no matter what. ‘I was hit by a bus two days ago but at least I survived and will be able to watch Game of Thrones finale’ kind of people. These stories used to make me happy but now I think they are all faking it. No one wants to look sad in front of a DSLR.
Terribly Tiny Tales (TTT): Short tales about ‘people don’t love you enough and you don’t care for people who do’. Every time I read a post, I end up video calling my mother out of guilt. I even forwarded few posts to my Dad so that he would start caring for me, but he sent Haha reacts which confirmed my doubts that he never read my forwards. I felt bad and submitted a story about this to TTT.
Relationship goals: Filled with photos of lovebirds in the moment, mostly under the stars or in a cosy ambiance, laughing about something. I used to feel sad about my loneliness but now I feel that it was all a sham. I mean if you’re busy romancing, who’s clicking these pictures? Unless there is a member of Humans of Bombay team standing in your bedroom with a DSLR, you can’t be that happy. Where is your laundry chair?
Within an hour, I unsubscribed from all the carriers of Sadoppy. If ‘playing with emotions’ was a sport, social media was the premier league for it. However, I was happy that I was no longer participating. It’s better to not participate than be the RCB of the league and lose everything. I decided to impart the wisdom to Manasvi but she interrupted before I began.
“You have to checkout this page,”she insisted.
The page was called ‘Boys who cry passionately on Musically India’ — Tik Tok videos of grown up Indian men thumping their chest and crying about failure in love while dancing to a Bollywood song. We laughed at the stupidity and the cringe for two hours. After resisting for long, I finally subscribed to the page and tagged three friends so that even they can laugh on other people’s misery.
“This is the part where you find out who you are,” a voice in my head said. I could relate now.
(Sudhanshu Ramteke is a stand-up comedian)
