Coupling it up just right

Coupling it up just right

People with similar professional backgrounds often decide to settle together, and why not? The sharing of similar goals and the synergy in achieving them could be one of the reasons why people with similar career aspirations or within the same industry come together in the first place. But there are also innumerable examples where couples with nothing in common with regard to their professions, are living perfectly in tandem with each other. We speak to some of them.

Equal contribution 
When it comes to diverse career options, mismatched timings are often a thing. It is important to then go the extra mile to spend time together, Akshay Sathe, a sound engineer at Bandish Studio, and married to Vijeta, a choreographer, tells us. “There are times when I work for 12 hours straight. But we adjust our timings around each other and believe in giving each other space too. A relationship works best when there is an equilibrium and equal contribution from both partners,” Sathe believes.

Another couple who has gone a step ahead is banker Shagufta Khan and her software engineer husband Imran. Breaking the stereotype of the wife moving cities to be with her husband, Imran relocated to Pune where Shagufta works as a banker. She says that Imran is born and brought up in Delhi. “My job is transferable so that was the biggest challenge in our marriage. Imran has been working from home for close to two years now. There was a time when his company refused to extend the work from home arrangement and asked him to join either their Bengaluru or Delhi office. But only a couple of months after he joined in Bengaluru, I was down with dengue and he chose to come back to Pune. He even resigned for me. But the company let him work from home,” she narrates.

As far as her job is concerned, Shagufta can take up promotions and go up. “My workplace gives tremendous opportunities and encourages everyone but then that would mean giving it more time. Once you start getting promotions, you should be available in the office whenever your superiors expect. There are no fixed working hours. Since Imran is in the IT industry, he also has to work long hours. So I have to manage the house. I, therefore, need some fixed work timings to be able to manage both,” she adds.

But with all these arrangements, come frustrations too, she adds. “With Imran working from home, he has to go the extra mile to prove himself. He works from the time he wakes up unlike those who go to office from 10 am to 5 pm. It ends up frustrating him at times. Weekends are the only time when we get to be with each other and so we end up barely socialising,” she says. 

While she too stands by him in times of adversity, she credits his calm and composed personality for cementing their relationship.

Dividing work
Mrunmayi Sapatnekar, who is a content creator for an online web portal and works from home, has settled in the USA with her software engineer husband Gaurav Parashare who works there. “I am the kind of person who prefers change and my husband is the exact opposite. He prefers to sit back and chill on his playstation after he is back from work,” says Sapatnekar, who believes that one must be flexible with career. 

“One can start/resume at any point in life. I have seen my mother being a homemaker for 20 years after marriage and at 50 she started off again with her law practice and completed her PhD. She is my inspiration,” she says. 

The couple has set a specific routine and divided household chores accordingly. “My work timings are very odd and I work on Sundays too, so my husband takes up a lot at home,” she adds.

Business Vs job
Akshay Nagarkar, who runs an exports business says that owning a business comes with uncertain work hours unlike the ones in a job and so is the case with the income. How do you then find the balance? He explains, “My wife Sayali works as a business developer and is busy for around 12 hours a day. My timings, however, depend on the assignments I get. We often face a communication gap because of this but we both understand the nature of each other’s work.”

Apart from work too, Nagarkar believes that it is important to be considerate towards the woman in the family since she is the one making so many adjustments post marriage. “Holding on to each other during crisis matters,”says Nagarkar adding that despite the diverse careers, some assuring words can ease half the stress. “She totally understands what it takes to run a business,” he insists.

Another such diversity is seen in the home of Dr Prerana Deshpande, a dentist, and her husband Girish who is a software manager. Dr Deshpande was clear she didn’t want a life partner who shared her profession. “I didn’t want to discuss work at home. It’s always better to discuss new things,” says the dentist who was sure of having her own clinic setup.

On managing professional stress, Dr Deshpande says that it is more relevant to her since she gets patient calls at absurd times but her husband is never irked by it. “In turn, when he is bogged down by the pressures of the IT industry, I give him assurances of being around to support him. I think being in different professions is the best thing a couple can have. Additionally, with one person having a stable job and another running a business, there is a perfect balance,” she concludes.

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