Her Twitter bio mentions IPS (Retd), Author, Lieutenant Governor of Puducherry, IIT Delhi Alumnus, Nehru Fellow, Magsaysay Awardee, Asian Tennis Champion. And she was the first woman to join the Indian Police Service (IPS) and a social activist who was instrumental in introducing prison reform in India. By now you must have guessed who we are talking about. Of course, tough cop Kiran Bedi who is an inspiration to many!
Now, you will get to know more about another facet of her life — the super mom Kiran Bedi in the Marathi book titled Super Mom, Journey of Efficient Motherhood. The book dedicates a chapter to Bedi along with other super moms who have equally fascinating stories to tell.
Here, Bedi offers us glimpses of her motherhood journey:
- When you first conceived, what thoughts crossed your mind? Were you still reporting for work?
I did not even know I had conceived. I got to know much later. I kept working as I was preparing for the Republic Day Parade. In the first month of my pregnancy, I led the January 26 parade. Which is why my daughter always says, “Mom, I was parading with you.”
- You always plan your work. How did the planning change in each phase of your pregnancy and did it affect your work?
My husband and I had hoped to start a family by the third year of our marriage. And this is the way it fortunately happened. I summoned care-taking support. But that was not good at all, so my mother stepped in. She and my father just locked their home in Amritsar and came and stayed with us. My mother realised that if she did not step in, my career would take a hit. And she loved to see me at work; she groomed me for it.
My home became my parents’ home and remained so till the last day of their lives. It also became a family home for my sisters and their children.
- Which was harder to handle — work pressure or maternal responsibilities?
My work was time consuming so I did not have the ‘luxury of time’ to be with my child. That said, I rarely attended social dinners. I wanted to be home with my daughter because of which I had no social network. No informal friends as such, as there was no time for social bonding outside work time.
- What motivation did you take from your mother while fulfilling your motherhood duties, and who is your ‘super mom’ idol?
My mother was an ideal mother — she was all that a child needed. I could never ever match her level of sacrifice for her children. She gave every bit of herself for four of us. I gave all I could keeping a balance between my highly demanding work and maternal responsibilities. I had total peace of mind as I knew my child was with my mother who loved and cared for her the most. She could not have had a better grandmother.
- In your super mom journey, what was the contribution of your husband?
We were living in two different cities. While he was in Amritsar looking after his farms and factory, I was in Delhi and elsewhere fulfilling my work responsibilities. We used to meet but not enough so that he could nurture his daughter. He was a loving father, and my daughter would get from the father what the mother would not allow.
- Many people say that motherhood is a full-time job. Do you agree?
Maternal care is full time. I endorse it fully. The child needs parents’ love, care and attention, also indulgence. Or else, they must make secure provisions.
- Did you ever feel guilty about not giving enough time to your child?
I always knew I would be a career woman who would have a home of her own, her own identity and be self reliant. Having my own career was essential to my living. That said, I could never give my daughter the amount of time that my mother spent with us. That’s because she was a stay-at-home mom.
But I gave to my daughter all that I could and had, and she valued that. She always knew she was my priority even though my duty came first. She knew mummy would be home the moment work was over. And whenever she needed me, she got in touch — I was only one wireless message away from her.
- How did you balance work and family? Was there any work-family conflict?
To do the balancing act, understanding within the family is critical. Hence regular communication is essential. Also, respect for a woman’s career is vital. A supportive family enables a happy career. A non-supportive or a sulking family takes the joy out of your work. My family was aware of my professional challenges. They had actually prepared me for it.
My marriage too was based on this understanding that for me my career was vital. I would seek all possible help, but would not give up my job because my whole upbringing was career oriented.
- How can mothers from nuclear families be ‘super moms’?
Working parents must plan support at the workplace and at home without which either parent will have to step in, they can take turns. If one doesn’t want to give up one’s career, one has to be a super mom in planning and organising. Motherhood needs planning, post birth and subsequent years too.
- Apart from being a successful professional and a good mother, we should be recognised as a good human being and a part of society?
Motherhood is an investment in the future of society. Good motherhood means giving to humanity good citizens. Good citizens means good society. Hence we should always be grateful for their massive contribution and personal sacrifice.
- You have a large fan club. Do they encroach on your quality time?
No, I make my choices. I decide with whom and where I want to spend my time. I remain in charge. I respect my time, it’s the most expensive resource I have.
- Tell us about your memorable experiences of motherhood?
The excruciating pain in delivering my child and ecstasy in having her in my arms. The daily hugs. The piggy rides. The any number of kisses and so on.
Once you become a mom, does your career get over? Is there anything left for you to achieve after that? Do you lose out on individual independence? Super Mom, Journey of Efficient Motherhood, a Marathi book by Sakal Publication, answers all these questions.
Priced at Rs 200, the 160-page book offers a freewheeling dialogue with the women who have made it big in their respective fields, and talks about the challenges of motherhood and their own inspirations and icons.
Besides Kiran Bedi, the other illustrious super moms who feature in the book include Dr Rani Bang, Dr Shaila Narendra Dabholkar, Dr Surekha Devi, Madhuri Dixit Nene, Jhelum Paranjpe, Aarti Anklikar-Tikekar, Neela Satyanarayan, Dr Meenal Narwane, Kajol, Anjali Bhagwat, Sneha Gadgil, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Pratima Kirloskar, Veena Patil, Indumati Jondhale, Kalpana Dudhal and Aishwarya Patekar.
I did not even know I had conceived. I got to know much later. I kept working as I was preparing for the Republic Day Parade. In the first month of my pregnancy, I led the January 26 parade
