Parents should accept their child’s success, failure: Experts

Prajakta Joshi
Friday, 18 May 2018

Pune: The period between examinations and results is always stressful for students as well as their parents. However, there are ways to accept the failures and success in examinations. Recently,  a parent from Madhya Pradesh celebrated his son’s failure in Standard X board examination. According to him, marks are not important in life.

Pune: The period between examinations and results is always stressful for students as well as their parents. However, there are ways to accept the failures and success in examinations. Recently,  a parent from Madhya Pradesh celebrated his son’s failure in Standard X board examination. According to him, marks are not important in life.

However, city psychologists advise that parents should accept their child’s success and failure. Career counsellor Sanjay Kulkarni said, “It is not healthy to ‘celebrate’ a child’s failure but at the same time, children should not be shouted at only because they have failed. However, parents should take out time and analyse why the child has failed and find solutions so that the same mistakes are not repeated.” 

Counsellor Rushikesh Humbe said that marks are not the only parameter to judge a child potential or capability to do well in life. “This perspective where results are directly associated with the hard work done by students in studies is wrong. Marks should not dictate students’ potential. The parents should believe in their child despite his/her performance in exam and result,” Humbe said.

He further explained, “The parents should see to it that the child is not demoralised merely because of his/her result. In this world of competition, instead of blaming the failure or the hard work put in by the student, the parents should opt for more realistic reaction and keep their doors open for their child.”

“From the cases that come to me, mobile phones, social media and other gadgets are some of the other reasons behind a child’s failure in the examination. All this needs to be considered by the parents,” Kulkarni said.

Kulkarni said that before and after the exam, the approach of the parents should be that of encouraging the children to give their best in the exam according to their potential. “Parents should recognise their child’s potential and expect from them accordingly. However, the thought to hard work and exams shouldn’t just be given before SSC Board exams, but all through the schooling years,” Kulkarni said.

Durgesh Mangeshkar of IIT Prashikshan Kendra, who constantly deals with students of Std XII preparing for several entrance exams and their parents, said, “All parents can do is that be supportive and not think of exams as the end of the world.”

“Getting good marks and getting admission in a good college are two different things especially when the entrance examinations of the engineering colleges are concerned. After the result, there are many counselling rounds and how wisely you perform here determines which college you will get. Thus, just because a student’s score is less, the parents shouldn’t demoralise their ward saying he or she won’t get admission in the desired college,” Mangeshkar said.

He also said that there is always the scope for repetition for the students, whether it is a board exam or an entrance exam.

There are many students who skip exam for a year or so and do well in the exam next year.

“Lastly, I would like to emphasise that the students, as well as parents, shouldn’t look at these exams as the final thing in their lives. The parents should tell their children that if they fail at what they had planned, then still there are many other options available to them. In fact, failure can be looked at as an opportunity to explore other endless options and that option may actually turn out to be a much better one than the original plan,” Mangeshkar added.

Reasons behind failure 
- “From the cases that come to me, mobile phones, social media and other gadgets are some of the other reasons behind a child’s failure in the examination. All this needs to be considered by the parents,” Career counsellor Sanjay Kulkarni said.
- Kulkarni said that before and after the exam, the approach of the parents should be that of encouraging the children to give their best in the exam according to their potential. 

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