Helping people talk about sex

Namrata Devikar
Friday, 8 March 2019

Activist conducts workshops across country

Pune: Women are expected to be picture perfect in every aspect of their lives. At work, home and even while expressing their sexuality. However, talking about it still remains a taboo. 

In an exclusive discussion, social activist Pallavi Barnwal speaks about how bringing sex talks to the forefront of public discourse can help women and men to break the communication barrier. She conducts ‘Tongue tied - Lets Talk Sex’ workshops across the country. 

Narrating her story, Barnwal said in five years of her marriage, she struggled a lot but continued her life with a smile.

“We often do not talk about our problems. I struggled from inside but did not share it with anybody. Later, my marriage broke up. It is then that I realised that talking about how one feels is of utmost importance. I often shared moments on social media, where I was sad and unhappy. While expressing on social media, we refrain from doing so. We want to put only good things in order to reach a certain level of perfection. But life is not perfect. And that makes it more important to share all emotions,”she said. 

“To feel everything, it is important empathise and most importantly to be honest by sharing all our emotions,” said Barnwal.

She added that through social media, many people relate to you and your state of mind. They find that they are not the only ones, who are feeling the same.

Speaking about her work, Barnwal said she talks about sexuality because this is the most neglected subject.

“Talking about sexuality is the most difficult thing but at the same time, that’s what makes it more important. Many women do not speak out how they feel as not much is spoken on the topic. However, women like Sunny Leone have been open about it. This should be looked upon as an opportunity to talk about the subject,” said Barnwal.

She added, “If we, as a society, look around and see, the problem is everywhere.”

“Indians are one of the three largest consumers of porn industry. We are so sexually obsessed because, we cannot express it. First, we have to understand that sex is a source of life. Only then, we can bring it to the forefront of our discussion,” said Barnwal.

She said at the moment, as soon the topic is brought up, the entire room goes into silence.

“Which is a clear indication that there has been no debate even at the level of families. This is very important as we see teenagers, girls and boys both have enough resources to get information related to sex. But there is no one to educate them on safe sex. This is the need of the hour,” said Barnwal.

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