Too much cricket..!

Robert Clements
Saturday, 30 December 2017

With so much cricket being played in the Indian sub-continent, other sports are beginning to suffer. A secret meeting was called to address this issue. 

“I call the meeting to order!” shouted the Chairman, who it was believed could beat anybody in a game of Monopoly. “Order! Order!” he shouted again, but the delegates representing other sports and games hardly listened to him. 

With so much cricket being played in the Indian sub-continent, other sports are beginning to suffer. A secret meeting was called to address this issue. 

“I call the meeting to order!” shouted the Chairman, who it was believed could beat anybody in a game of Monopoly. “Order! Order!” he shouted again, but the delegates representing other sports and games hardly listened to him. 

“Sit down, everybody!” he shouted. The delegates finally sat down, looking gloomily at the chairman. “Today we need a solution to topple cricket from its pedestal!” he said. “Any 
suggestions?”

There was pin drop silence in the hall. “There’s a political party in Bombay that has much practice in digging up pitches!” said the Scrabble delegate.

“They’ve turned rusty!” said the chairman. “Haven’t dug one up for twenty years, after Pakistan stopped playing in Bombay!” 

There was another sigh of despondency in the room.

“I have an idea!” said the representative for football. “We could do for cricketers what was done to Indian captain Virat Kohli!”

There was a buzz in the room, and even though nobody knew what he was talking about, there was now an air of expectancy in the otherwise hall of despair. “And what may we ask sir, was done to Virat Kohli?” asked the chairman.

“He was hooked into marriage by an actress!” said the footballer.

“So?” asked the scrabble delegate who looked down at football and outdoor games with an air of intellectual superiority. “So how would marriage bring cricket down?”

“Look!” said the footballer opening a newspaper, “What is Virat doing?”

“Clicking a selfie with his bride in Italy!”

“And this?”

“Another selfie with his bride and the prime minister!”

“And this?”

“It’s another with his new bride!”

“Can you imagine what is happening?” asked the footballer as he glanced around the hall with a smile. “Virat is falling prey to the greatest addiction on Earth, the selfie addiction! All we have to do is to get all the cricketers addicted to selfies and we just take over! While they click, we play!”

“Hurrah!” shouted the members of the hall together. “We have finally found a solution to this cricket madness!”

There was a sudden noise as the wives of all the delegates rushed onto the stage. “What’s happening?” asked the chairman as the women pulled out their phones and posed with the delegate who was going to free them from the stranglehold of cricket.

“This is wonderful!” shouted the football delegate as he posed with one wife then another and also some of their sisters and daughters. “All of them want to take a selfie with me! How long I have waited to be selfied like this!”

“He’s becoming addicted!” whispered the chairman into the mike, “Let us adjourn immediately, before the selfie makes not just Kohli but all of us addicts to it..!” 

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