Let’s not be the judge of anyone’s suffering

Mukta Chinchwadkar
Wednesday, 24 October 2018

An outburst by someone deeply affected by the incidents happening around.

I am exhausted — after watching the discussions on TV channels, reading posts on WhatsApp groups, checking comments on Facebook, as to how the #MeToo movement is not considering the damage being done to innocent men or how some women are just taking advantage of it and blaming the innocents, how they are actually not recognising what comes under #MeToo.

Agreed, there are opportunists out there and calling someone a criminal before it’s proved so, is wrong. But it’s time we got past all this and supported the actual victims as their number is certainly higher than that of the women who are diluting the purpose of this movement or those who are using it for wrong reasons. 

The movement has given courage to every woman to speak up and that’s what we should salute and support, rather than dissecting who is right and who is not. Let’s just focus on how to keep this movement on its track and how everyone should contribute to it. Let’s support the brave out there who actually gathered the courage to speak about it now. Check Twitter, Facebook or other social media platforms to know the heartaching stories of thousands of women and how just opening up about it has given them a closure, relief, a peaceful sleep. See how many have got inspired from the stories of others and are creating platforms for educating people. 

Let’s not question why Tanushree (just as an example) is making these allegations only after 10 years. We need to understand that we never had the right environment earlier to speak up on such things. Also, someone who goes through such an experience, takes time to digest what happened with them and to handle the trauma. It’s not only about the body violated; the spirit too takes a beating. Only now because of this movement are women gathering the courage to speak up — it could be 10 days, months or years after the incident. The point is women, who have been molested or raped, cannot be subjected to a specific timeline for them to come out and speak about it. There are several factors at play, many situations to tackle, including the fear in their mind which is the biggest culprit of all. But it’s shocking to read that every woman around has faced it at least once in her life. 

An important advice — let’s understand that a woman’s personal choices in life (alcohol, partying, late nights, the clothes she wears) or any other thing cannot have anything to do with the allegations. Even if she does all the above, it does not mean she’s ok with physical assault. Let’s not mix up these things. 

Many a times, our lawmakers have failed to take up such cases or solve them. So, the real purpose of this movement is that we let these victims speak up and provide an ear to the wounded so that it helps them at least heal partially, if not completely. Let us not be the judge of anyone’s suffering. Let us believe that the real truth will come out and reserve our judgements. Let the authorities do their job and we do our job by keeping the purpose right and intact. 

Let’s try and create an environment for the future so that it doesn’t take any other Tanushree 10 years to speak up about it!

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