I’m depressed and lonely after my husband's death

Bobby Das
Saturday, 14 April 2018

I’m a 60-year-old widow, my children live abroad. My husband and I were college sweethearts. We were happily married for 26 years, but he passed away last year and my whole life fell apart. I miss him very much and feel terribly lonely. I’m not interested in anything— reading, travelling or watching the television, which were things we did together and with him gone, the joy has gone out of my life. I’m totally lost without him. My children are busy with their lives, though they keep telling me to visit them. I don’t want to exist like this.

I’m a 60-year-old widow, my children live abroad. My husband and I were college sweethearts. We were happily married for 26 years, but he passed away last year and my whole life fell apart. I miss him very much and feel terribly lonely. I’m not interested in anything— reading, travelling or watching the television, which were things we did together and with him gone, the joy has gone out of my life. I’m totally lost without him. My children are busy with their lives, though they keep telling me to visit them. I don’t want to exist like this. I want to get out of this depressed mindset as I know my husband would hate to see me like this. He was such a jovial man, full of joie de vivre. I know I am wallowing in self pity, so please tell me how to change my attitude towards life? 
I am reminded of an interesting quote that I read recently –  Grief is just love with no place to go. It is all the love that you want to give, but cannot. I can imagine that the bereavement process can seem long and unending but the human heart longs to love and be loved. As part of your survival strategy, why not explore new horizons and seek fresh avenues of spreading joy amongst others? Get involved in doing things that would help the less fortunate strata of our society. You could get involved in teaching economically backward children, empowering victims of poverty or domestic violence. All your unspent love can find an outlet where it will be gratefully received. Try and come out of your cocoon. 

The best way to honour your husband’s memory would be to make the best of what life has to offer in this lovely city of ours. If you like reading, you can always get a membership of the British Library.  If cinema is your passion, then the film club at the NFAI is the place to be on Saturdays where they show classic films from all over the world. Look up the events pages in the newspapers where there are a plethora of programmes of every hue.

You can also meet up with people with similar interests and make new friends. Age is just a number and 60 anyway is hardly the age to wither away in self pity. 

(The writer is an image consultant and corporate trainer. If you have queries for him, send them to features@sakaaltimes.com)

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