‘She’s marrying someone else’

Sakal Times
Sunday, 22 July 2018

Son, I feel your pain. I know you’re heartbroken right now. But think of this as dodging a bullet.

I was in a relationship with a girl for over two years. The relationship was going quite strong (at least that is what I thought). We even went to Singapore on a vacation to celebrate her birthday. I was close to her family. But one fine day she told me that she needed to talk and when I met her, she informed me that she was getting engaged to her family friend. Now she has just left me dangling in the middle. I’m not even sure if she ever loved me because she had the audacity to send me a wedding invite. In the meanwhile, she has created this image about me amongst our common friends that I am good for nothing. 

Son, I feel your pain. I know you’re heartbroken right now. But think of this as dodging a bullet. Sometimes when I think back about the guys who broke my heart during my salad days, and how I broke down then, I can’t believe that I actually dated them. I’ve come to understand that being emotionally stupid comes with being young, like a combo package. Probably because of the hormones at play. 

But let me ask you, what do you mean when you say the relationship was going strong? And if you were close to her family, why didn’t you know what was going on? Is this one of those things where you think whatever you want to think, but the reality is far from it? 

With the only intention of saving you some heartache in the future, let me encourage you to remember that love is not a quid pro quo business. Just because you took her abroad to celebrate her birthday, she doesn’t need to marry you. Put yourself in her shoes — wouldn’t you make the best choice for yourself? 

Now, to be ‘dangling in the middle’ is entirely up to you. Start making assertive and smart choices. Accept that this relationship wasn’t meant to work, and close the chapter instead of catching people and listing the things you’ve done for her to make your case about how ungrateful she is. People might sympathises with you to your face, but really, they won’t buy it. Remember Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, how everyone cheered for Anjali when she replaced Aman with Rahul right before the ceremonies on the day of her wedding? 

Everyone was happy for the couple and the nosy child. Nobody’s bothered about poor Aman who had even bought his wedding clothes, invited all his friends and colleagues and probably booked a honeymoon suite too. You don’t see him complaining? That was savage. But the film went on the become an era-defining one, believe that!

So wallow in your sorrow listening to Channa Mereya a couple of times, and get it out of your system. Get a new hairdo, some new clothes, get in touch with some old friends, and start life as a single man ready to mingle.

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