‘My ex girlfriend is marrying my cousin’

Sakal Times
Sunday, 13 January 2019

My distant cousin is getting married to my ex-girlfriend. I had dated the girl for two long years

My distant cousin is getting married to my ex-girlfriend. I had dated the girl for two long years. Though not many of my relatives were aware of this relationship that I was in five years ago, I find it really awkward to participate in the wedding functions. And it is really weird since the girl that I dated will now be my sister-in-law and probably see her every now and then at family functions which are already so silly. 

By golly, you’re a vain dandy, aren’t you? So the problem at hand seems to be the awkwardness you will feel in the presence of your ex-girlfriend at family functions. I suggest stretching. I’ve heard that stretching helps you relax, helps relax your body and your mind and gets you ready for exercise. The exercise in your case here is to behave in a normal manner and not act like such a fuddy-duddy. 

Even though you say your family doesn’t know about the relationship you had, I can feel the desperate itch you have for them to come to know about it and perform some kind of drama. What can come from all of this? Well, it proves the fact that you still live in a regressive world where women must marry the first man they date, or at the very least she must take all steps necessary to successfully hide the fact that she has a past from the rest of the world. He’s your distant cousin — not your own brother, so why get all hot and sweaty? I’ll have you know that in some communities it’s a norm for not-so-distant cousins to marry. 

The thing with pseudo-decent men like you is that you don’t consider women you’ve dated to be anything more than your ex. I don’t know what the deal was between you two — who broke up with who, or whether it was fashionable mutual — but the only thing that should matter now is that you are two individuals who have all the right to go on with your lives and do better for yourselves. Why make a big deal out of something as simple as that?

To save you some awkwardness next time, why don’t you draw up an agreement for all your future girlfriends? Bound them into a legal contract where in case you split, they can only date people who do not share your DNA.
 
You can always skip the wedding and the functions if you are absolutely incapable of showing her some respect and behaving in a decent manner.

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