‘He’s getting married but can’t get over me’

Bobby Das
Sunday, 4 February 2018

I was kind of seeing a guy for around six months and we were in quite a complicated relationship/fling, where he would express his love and care for me constantly but would not commit, citing reasons about his past and that he hasn’t moved on from his ex. She is now back and they are getting married next month. He was very clear about all of this and stopped seeing me the moment she returned. However, he continues to send me these ‘oh I am so sorry and guilty’ messages every once in a while. I have asked him to stop but he says that he can’t get over me.

I was kind of seeing a guy for around six months and we were in quite a complicated relationship/fling, where he would express his love and care for me constantly but would not commit, citing reasons about his past and that he hasn’t moved on from his ex. She is now back and they are getting married next month. He was very clear about all of this and stopped seeing me the moment she returned. However, he continues to send me these ‘oh I am so sorry and guilty’ messages every once in a while. I have asked him to stop but he says that he can’t get over me. I have tried blocking him and everything else but he just finds ways and means of communicating with me. I am trying to put the past behind me and would not like to have anything to do with him anymore. I am at my wit’s end and it is getting to be very irritating for me. Please suggest what I should do in this situation.

Well this seems to be leading to quite a bizarre triangle which could spell disaster for all the characters involved in it. So let’s look at the different dimensions of it in our search for a ‘solution’. Actually I’m quite surprised to note that you were ‘kind of’ involved with a man whose affections lay elsewhere.

In his favour, I must say he was quite upfront about it and did not try to lead you up the garden path which he could have easily done, considering that you were more than willing to enter into a relationship with him. This indicates his frankness and your inclination to participate in this romantic merry-go-round.

By deciding to marry the person he is actually in love with, he has taken a stand on the issue and made his intentions very clear. As far as the present situation is concerned, his motivations for wanting to keep in touch with you loses its relevance when you have made up your mind to walk a different path. It could also be just last minute jitters as D-day looms near. After having tried blocking, insulting etc and if the situation is getting out of control, you should just call up his fiancée and inform her of his actions in relation to you. I’m sure that will work, as it has the potential to change the dynamics of their relationship. It is also advisable to keep a record of all his communications with you if in case, his harassment takes a turn for the dangerous and you might have to request the cops to intervene.

(The writer is an image consultant and corporate trainer. If you have queries for him, send them to features@sakaaltimes.com)

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